My Favorite Monsters: Caring and Loving Fear

This Halloween-style monster with glowing eyes shows up with a giant vacuum cleaner ready for an energy-sucking feast. Its favorite digs is the black hole on the outskirts of the universe, which it keeps powered by out the energy of millions of living organisms around the world. What it does with all the power supplies it collects is still for the astrophysicists to discover. Most likely bottles it into jars, like orange marmalade.

Where did you first meet?

In a waiting room of a hospital.

What do you feel like?

Like your brain has turned into a concrete block and you can’t think.

What do you look like?
Like this brown monster Djudjuka from an old soviet cartoon where animals wanted to find water in the desert but she kept making it difficult for them.

djuduka

What is your favorite meal?

Anxiety over things you have no power to control and half the time can’t even see.

Favorite place?

A dark room.

What useful purpose do you serve?

To make sure that you’re prepared when things go horribly wrong and no one is there to save you.

But really, does that happen a lot?
You created me, you tell me. My job is to make sure that you’re prepared. So when I hurt you it’s to make sure you’ve build enough muscle power for later.

But you don’t really know if they would be needed, right?

If you keep challenging all your energy into what you’re so afraid of you probably will. You’ll create that thing just as well as you created me.

So if it doesn’t happen?

I just grow to be fat and well-taken care of, like a cat. I’ll purr every now and then when you feed me.

So if you’re there to guard my best interests and protect me from harm in a loving and caring one, what’s the best way to calm you?

Say hello. Rub my stomach. And refuse to feed me. At some point I’ll just look for other placed to get energy.

For one thing, you don’t have to hide from me or ignore me. You certainly don’t have to love me. When at some point you realize that you’ve grown out of the house where we lived together because you’ve found ways to shine some light in that dark space, you can just leave me in the old house when you move. Because I’m like a cat. I don’t like to move. And maybe I could help the next tenant learn something about their lives.

PS. In the cartoon, Djudjuka turns into a very good looking mushroom. 

For a detailed guide for dealing with fear check out Havi’s incredible blog The Fluent Self.

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