B’s New Girlfriend

nerdsB’s new girlfriend came in a box. I was busy and didn’t pay attention until he casually mentioned that she’s going to move into the bedroom with us and wake him up every morning from now on.

It turned out her name is Alexa, and she’s an intelligent voice control system and speaker Echo by Amazon. In other words, she looks like tube that periodically lights up and talks to you, plays music and tells you the value of your stocks. You can ask her questions and she tells you the answer if it’s something simple, like is Barack Obama Muslim. If it’s something complicated, like how to make a martini, she sends a link to your mobile device that has an Echo app. She’s pretty fast, faster than I’m on Google.

Whether she’s streaming music or news from NPR or just being quiet, you get her attention by saying her name. Her top lights up (ok, that didn’t come out right) and she’s all ears. Add milk to the to-do list? You got it.

B. was nice and started quizzing her about the weather. I wasn’t so nice.

echo tube fast companyMe: Alexa, what is your favorite color?

A: I don’t have a favorite, if I’d choose orange.

Me: Alexa, are you skinny?

A: I weigh a little over two lbs.

Me: Are you single?

A: I don’t have relationships like that.

This made me sad, so I decided to switch gears.

Me: Alexa, what does B. want for Christmas?

A: Hmm. I don’t know the answer to that question.

Me neither, I thought…

Me: Alexa, is Santa real?

A: I’ve never met him but heard lots of good things about him. If I ever meet him I’ll tell you.

At this point, I caught myself saying, “Awesome! Thanks!”

PS. Alexa is great in the bedroom. You can ask her what time it is without opening your eyes.

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